Bad Blood: How I Cleansed My Life of Toxic Friends

5:09 PM

Bad Blood: Cleanse Life of Toxic Friends Andrea Tiffany aglimpseofglam

Hey everyone!

It's been forever since I've last posted! I've missed talking to you guys, finding out what's going on in your lives, and sharing about the things in my life. I thought it was a long break when I was busy during the holidays and disappeared, but this time has been even longer. Life has been crazy busy for me the past couple weeks, and I just couldn't find the time to update. Stress from midterm exams and projects plagued university. I like to put in effort in my posts, creating content that I hope you all enjoy. I could have just posted a short little something during the time I was away, but I'd rather post something that I truly feel good about instead.

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day! I personally didn't celebrate it because I didn't really find any reason to. I mean if you count curling up on the couch binging on Gilmore Girls on Netflix while eating an unhealthy amount of dark chocolate and popcorn, then yeah I guess I did celebrate?

What did you guys do for Valentine's Day? Share in the comments below!

Today, I wanted to discuss something that has been on my mind for a long time now. Friendships, specifically toxic friendships. We all have them. It's a topic we don't like to think about because it is depressing and upsetting, but we all will have to deal with this eventually at some point or another. It's pretty ironic how I'm talking about this the day after Valentine's Day, the day of love. Weird, huh?

To start off, as I mentioned before lately I've been preoccupied with lots of activities, responsibilities, and other things even more so than usual. When life gets busy, there are bound to be some consequences. The usual ones are stress, breakdowns, unfinished projects, etc. For me? I've realized that a hectic life leads to me finding out who my real friends are.

It's not the most ideal way, nor is it a very conventional way of testing out your friendships. Honestly, it never occurred to me that finding out who in my life were toxic would be a potential consequence of having to juggle many things at once. That's not something you normally think about.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but in my opinion, friends are the ones that should be there for you regardless of the circumstance. They are there to help you out through difficult times. When you have good news to share, your friends are the ones you celebrate with. These special moments are what makes friendships such a cherished and precious thing.

In the past couple months, I've come to realize who in my life are my true friends. When you are busy as hell and got a sundry of reasons to be stressed out, a real friend should understand. In fact, they usually offer to help you, whether it is to talk it out as a way to de-stress or physically pitch in to aid you in accomplishing a task. Friends don't pull strings in such a way that adds to your stress. You shouldn't feel guilty that you can't spend time with your friends. The only reason why you should feel guilty is if you are feeling so grateful and appreciative you feel almost unworthy for having such kind, generous, and understanding friends.

Someone who puts all the focus on their own problems, acting as if your own do not matter and do not exist is not someone you should keep in your life. If they brush off your problems as if they are insignificant, excusing their indifference as an inability to offer good advice or comfort, they are not worthy. 

Toxic friends are not fake friends. That's not how I see it. With toxic friends, you do genuinely enjoy their company...to some extent. There are enough of those good moments to make you so conflicted over whether or not this friendship is worth it. With fake friends, you can so easily figure out that they are not really your friends. Toxic friends are ones you just can't seem to explain. The only thing you know for sure is that being with them always leaves you feeling happy, yet deep down slightly unsettled and discomforted.

Okay, this isn't to say you should spend all the time talking about your own problems, and hogging the conversation. No. Because then YOU will become that toxic friend. My point is to be aware of how your friends treat you, and how you treat your friends. Really take a look at how true your friends are, and also evaluate how you yourself act with your friends.

Bad Blood Toxic Friends Andrea Tiffany aglimpseofglam

I've come to realize who are toxic in my life. Honestly, it's very difficult to admit and come to terms with. The people I've noticed are toxic in my life are ones who have been there a very long time. By endeavoring to let go of toxic friends, I'm also trying to find a way to let go of the past.

Don't hold onto those who are toxic simply because of the long history you both share. The resentment, irritation, mood swings you go through are not worth it. You shouldn't feel that mixture of reluctance and delight whenever you think of them. How's that friendship? That's more like an irritating coworker, or distant cousin, not friend.

It's incredibly difficult. I have to let go of the past in order to let go of toxic friends. But the longer I hold off, the more difficult it will become.

I'm willing to make amends with and reconcile with those I consider toxic in my life. I don't want any leftover resentment. I want to walk away knowing I've put in my best effort. The toxic people in my life and I have mutual friends in common. I want to know that we won't start WWIII if we ever come face to face again. This is the step I'm still working on. But the most crucial part, I've done. I've identified those in my life who are toxic, and that's the part that I think is most important. Don't be in denial; just accept it.

I would love to fix things with the toxic friends I've got in my life. I want to discover that the good DOES outweigh the bad, and that we can get past it. It's definitely a difficult deed to figure out what's worth it.

If there's anyone reading this who thinks it is my way of being passive-aggressive, you are so incredibly wrong. This is exactly what I mean about toxic friends being self-absorbed, thinking every move you make concerns them. Get it in your noggin' that it ain't all about you! This is simply MY SPACE to rant, MY SPACE to vent, MY SPACE to share my thoughts.

I really encourage you to evaluate the people in your life, to see who is truly valuable to keep around. How do you deal with toxic friends? How do you see who is worth keeping friendships with? I would love for you all to share your thoughts down in the comments below!

Thank you for reading, I know this was wayyy longer than usual! I just had a lot to get off my chest.

I wish you all a wonderful week!


Til next time,
~A

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52 comments

  1. What a great read. I've been really focusing on this for the last few months myself. A few years back I went through some incredibly tough times and learned who was really a good friend who was not. The last 12 months were pretty tough too and again I've began notice who is there and who is not. I've also started questioning myself too, if I am a good and worthy individual too. But in doing so I've also noted just how many excuses I am making for some people who I really should boot out of my life.

    Sxx
    www.daringcoco.com

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    1. Thank you Sonia :) And yeah I definitely agree with what you said about making excuses. I didn't realize how many excuses I was making until I really reflected on it and saw the truth for what it was. It's hard because we see things for how we want it to be rather than how it really is. I'm glad to hear this related to you in some way. I'm sorry to hear that you went thru some tough times too. But we will get better. This is good experience and will help us in the future when making new friends
      Thank you for reading :)

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  2. Taking yourself out of toxic environments and friendships is so important and crucial to mental health, even though it can be so difficult to do at the time. Thank you for sharing your story!

    Via Sora

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    1. Thank you for reading! It is really difficult but worth it in the end

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  3. Beautiful thoughts on friendship Andrea! Toxic friends are no friends at all and should be avoided at any cost!
    ♥♥♥
    Jeanne
    http://fashionmusingsdiary.com

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    1. Thank you Jeanne! And yes, exactly. Toxic friends will only hurt us in the end

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    1. Thank you April! I'm glad to hear this helped you

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  5. I could relate to this post as I read this. I think I've met some of toxic friends, but never knew what to do! Thanks for this advice xx

    Kaylee | JK's Dawn

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    1. I'm glad this helps and that you can relate. Of course, I do hope that no one has to undergo this same revelation, but I'm glad to hear that you can learn from my experience. Always better to learn from other people's mistakes to avoid your own!
      Hope you have a great week Kaylee :)

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  6. I'm so happy to read a new post from you dear! ^-^
    Well, we all have some toxic friends but I think the most important thing is to realize this and react accordingly. I tend to put this kind of people away from my life, cause they could be so negative!
    I wish a wonderful day honey!
    xoxo

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    1. Thank you Roberta :) I'm glad to be posting again too
      And yes, definitely. Being able to recognize it and doing something to change it is so important. I hope you have a wonderful week :))

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  7. Hello>^.^<
    Thank U for your visit on my blog :)
    Very emotional post..,I had in my life, contact with toxic people,i did not see if anything or anyone, only those negative people..-.-
    Fortunately, I broke free from this destructive psyche environment and society :)
    Life is too beautiful and too short to waste it on such frivolities.
    Greetings&Kisses :D

    http://www.porcelandia.blogspot.com

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    1. That's very good to hear! I'm so happy to hear you broke free from them. Life is definitely too short to waste on this kind of unnecessary drama!
      I hope you have a fantastic week :)

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  8. Dear Andrea, what a strong post.. I hope you find a lot of strenght now it this time. Take a step by step and focus on what is important. Some friends can just be only very selfish (maybe they do not have siblings) and you could try to tell them what is on your mind.
    Also we mature in a different phase and as you are very young maybe your friends needs a little bit more time to get wiser. But I am not trying to defend them.
    Whit my good friends I eighter tell them straight away what I do not like (and I expect the same back) or I just do not get back to them for days/weeks and wait until they realize what might be wrong or I just cool down myself. But I believe if you want to feel you did all you could then try to be honest to them. They might not understand. But I would also not like to be friend with someone not understanding, self centered and selfish.

    On the happier note. I LOOOOOVE gilmore girls (apart from the last season - seriously the end WT*! :D ). And dark chocolate and popcorn is delicious AND healthy !

    I really hope you are well. But always focus on what is important your family, your future and your good friends :) oh and food! :)))

    ** thinking of you **

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    1. Thank you Nathaliya! I didn't think of it in that point of view. It's very true, it's quite possible that it could be because she and I mature at different speeds. I didn't think of it that way. I really appreciate your input.
      I really need to work on being more open and honest with my relationships. I worry about offending my friends, so I don't always say how I feel. I will keep in mind your advice about telling them what I don't like.
      Yessss Gilmore Girls is AMAZING! And that last season wasn't by the same producer which makes me so sad.
      I hope you have a wonderful week and thank you for reading :))

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  9. :)

    http://potsofsmiles.blogspot.co.uk/

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  10. I had a similar situation last year- had to get rid of some bad eggs, frankly. You feel so much happier + lighter when you do! Life is too short to waste it on people who don't have your back. :)

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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    1. I definitely do feel a lot lighter, like I don't have this heavy feeling of dread and worry anymore. Thanks for reading Ashley! I hope you are doing well :)

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  11. amazing blog, if u wanna follow each other plz let me know on my blog
    http://dressedwithimen.blogspot.com/

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    1. thank you Imen! I will definitely check out your blog!

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  12. It must absolutely free of these people that I only hurt

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    1. Yes exactly :) We will only be hurt in the end if we keep it up

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  13. Hi hun :) I understand you! I'm studying sooo much for my exams. Now I have only one left and I cannot wait to relax and have more time to write on my blog and read others :) I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day.. I don't need a special day ! xx

    aishettina.blogspot.it

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    1. Ooh good luck on your exams!! It feels so good to be done with exams and have all this time on your hands to do fun things like blogging again!

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  14. This is a topic that I don't think is addressed enough. It's so important to surround yourself with people who bring positivity into your life. I got rid of people who were bringing negative energy, and it changed my life!
    xo
    Siffat
    http://icingandglitter.com

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    1. That's something we should all do :) Negative energy is unnecessary energy. Glad you like this Siffat :) I hope you have a great day!

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  15. Great post dear! Love the topic of it,sometimes people really need to get cleansed from all the people who only do harm :)

    mystylishcorner.blogspot.ba

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    1. Thank you, I'm glad to hear you like it! Yes we really need to cleanse ourselves of people who hurt us. It's not worth the pain

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  16. so meaningful and true!!! as I've gotten older, i think i have really appreciated and learned the true value of genuine friendship!

    Have a great day!
    Animated Confessions

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    1. Agreed, I've really started to appreciate the real friends I have and care bout the ones who are there for me rather than worrying about the ones who aren't.
      I hope you have a wonderful day as well Sybil!

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  17. Such a great post my dear!So true♥
    https://ilanna07.wordpress.com/

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  18. Gosh, you remind me on to cleanse my Facebook from "friends" who aren´t friends or have never been. It´s sometimes weird which People we used to trust and are disappointed of their behavior :-) But that´s life!
    Melina
    www.melinaalt.de

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    1. It's so hard to let go of the past when people change so much. We have to live with it and move on! I'm glad this helps you Melina :) Hope you are doing well

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  19. Loved reading this post, so helpful and informative ♥

    tipscapsule.blogspot.com

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  20. every time I come on your blog i'm amazed at how mature you are. I don't think I could have ever defined toxic or fake friendships at your age. but, now that im older, time is just too short to waste with people like that. i use to feel guilty about cutting ties, but you need to do what's best. happy almost Friday.

    xoxo,
    geri

    http://everydaylivingnyc.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you Geri, that really means a lot to me :) I guess it could be because I've undergone a lot of good and bad friendships over the years. I've had my fair share of bad experiences to learn from them. But I'm still growing and learning, there's still so much I have to learn.
      I also feel guilty about cutting ties but I really don't want to keep around people who only hurt me.
      I hope you are doing well and that you have a great week :)

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  21. I don't have a ton of friends, but the friends I do have are quality/true friends. You're smart to not waste your time and emotional effort... it can be so hard!

    Hailey
    www.themiddlecloset.com

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    1. Thank you Hailey :) Those are really wise words, it's really better to focus on quality over quantity!

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  22. Now I just let go of people that are toxic to me. Why should we stick when it hurts.

    ~ Styleccentric Fashion' | BLOGLOVIN

    xo, Alyssa

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    1. Very true, it's not worth it to be hurting like that. Thank you for reading Alyssa :)

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  23. Thanks for this post, I really enjoyed it.
    I recently tried to cleanse myself of my toxic friends, I had a horrible year last year and lost my dad as well as suffering a few other horrible events. The response of my friends was so telling and really confirmed who the true friends were and who the toxic ones were.
    I'm moving forward this year with perhaps a fewer amount of friends but only ones who bring positivity and joy to my life.
    Farah X
    www.vatkinary.com

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    1. Thank you Farah! I'm happy you like it.
      I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, and I hope you are doing well. It's terrible how it takes a circumstance like that to realize who is really there for you. Friends should be there for you and be a solace for things like this. But I'm glad that in the end you still had a support group to help you through that tough time.
      I hope everything is going well for you, and stay strong :) I've lost some friends too but in the end it's worth it to realize who is truly there for me.

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  24. Great post, darling. Honestly? I don't really have many friends myself. I have my family, my boyfriend, but that's about it. I have encountered some very toxic people in the past, though. But I'm just not that good at meeting new people, especially in person, because of my social anxiety. I do have some lovely blogger friends though that I cherish more than anything (such as yourself!), and that's more than enough for me. :) <3

    Kay
    http://shoesandglitter.com/

    ReplyDelete

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